2 years

A letter for your 2nd birthday

Dear N,

It was your birthday on the weekend. Another big milestone for you little man. You have been living with me for 18 months now – how lucky am I? At 2 you are a real little character: totally loveable, incredibly good looking, extremely intelligent, super musical and with a sweet and charming personality. What an amazing boy you are!!

You’ve had a very busy weekend. You had a sleep over with your cousins and a lovely birthday cake with them on Saturday (your actual birthday). After that you came back home and then on Sunday afternoon we had a birthday party here with your friends.

You had such a lot of fun even though it was a rainy day. There were 10 kids here all together and you made the most enormous mess. You drank lemonade and ate little sausages with sauce (your favourite!) and then we had the birthday cake. It was a chocolate monkey cake with chocolate doughnut ears and mint pattie eyes. Everyone stood around and sang ‘happy birthday to you’ while you ate the brown m&m nostrils and then they helped you to blow out the two candles.

It was so funny cutting the cake, some kids were saying ‘I want some eye’ or can I have some ear?’ and pretty soon there was just a few crumbs left on the plate.

We gave you a red ukelele for your birthday. You call it your ‘tah’, like guitar only easier to say. You were so happy to get it you sat down and played it for about 20 minutes non-stop – not bad for a 2yo boy! I sent a photo of you playing it to your mum and it made her so happy. You really love music and you are getting more and more interested in singing songs, dancing and playing any instrument you can get your hands on.

You have a few favourite shows. You love the Wiggles and anything they do will keep you entertained. You are just starting to join in and sing some of the songs and do the actions. You also love Fireman Sam. You often come up to me during the day to say ‘Wiggles’ or ‘Sam’ or ‘teeeveeeeee, teeeveeeeeee’ and hand me the remote control. I try to limit how much tv you watch, so we do lots of play downstairs in the garden. You love the sandpit, where there are lots of trucks and things to dig with.

You really love everything to do with cars and transport. Each morning as we wait for L’s school bus to come and pick him up, we all sit on the front step to watch the cars, trucks, bikes and people. Although our street isn’t too busy, we get enough traffic to keep it interesting. You name each vehicle as it goes by.

But your favourite day is rubbish day. When you hear the truck coming we must STOP EVERYTHING and run to the front door to watch the rubbish truck come to empty our bins. We wave at the driver and he waves back at you. We say ‘bye bye rubbish, don’t come back!’

What a wonderful little brother to L and big brother to J you are. They both love you so much. Sometimes L is hard to play with, but you don’t care and you just get in there and make him play with you as much as possible. Even though he often pushes you away, you love to give him a big cuddle and because you are a very clever little guy, you have worked out that if you cuddle him from behind, then he can’t push you away. So smart! You have a fun running game that you play together that involves running, screaming and giggling your heads off from one end of the house to the other. You also love to get in and have a good rough & tumble wrestle. Every, single time – you come out on the losing end. But that doesn’t stop you – oh no!

With little J you are very sweet and gentle. You stop to give him a kiss or to pat him on the head. You also enjoy sitting on him, which J doesn’t like at all, so it’s lucky you don’t do that too often. At the moment you are both enjoying playing in the ball pit. It’s a blow up contraption that holds a whole pile of balls. You guys have so much fun in there chuckling and rolling around, sticking your hand through the holes in the wall.

fun in the ball pit

Well beautiful, happy second birthday. Love you


Rainbow Beach

Dear Sarah,

Today I couldn’t help but think of you. We are on holiday and really having the best time.

This morning we hit the beach before 9. 5 kids, 3 adults all lathered in sunscreen with a whole pile of swimming/surfing gear. My big boys are just loving the waves which are quite rough and challenging but absolutely exhilarating. N is fearless and would happily walk off towards Fiji without worrying about another breath. L is more wary, but in a very healthy, normal way (amazing!). He hangs on as as the waves approach, he lifts one leg in the air as if to kick it away or to jump over it, squealing with delight, every sense open and activated.


Anyway, it’s just the kind of holiday you would love. We’re staying with friends at their family beach house. Simple, classic and totally relaxing. Good company for me and the kids. Cooking, wine, discussions about everything and nothing, deep blissful sleep, exhausted, happy kids.


We had an impromptu birthday party for L who is about to turn 5. Scavenger hunt in the back yard, a dancing competition – there were some pretty funky moves going on believe me, then a chocolate swirl (packet) cake.  Just too much fun all round.

You would love it here Sarah. Miss you.

lots of love from me

Letter to a beautiful girl

To my darling little A,

As I am writing this – you are 9 months old. You are a beautiful little girl who is laughing, crawling, babbling, exploring, pointing and loving life. In a few days you will be meeting your new family and your whole world is going to change. Right now they don’t even know who you are, but I know that your Mum & Dad will learn to love you just as much as I do. I know just how lucky they are to be able to have you as their little girl and to see you grow into an amazing young woman.

But right now, I am the one person who knows you the best. I know all the little things that make you happy, how to hold you to calm you down when you are upset and where all your ticklish spots are. Here’s a few of the things I know about you now that I think will always be a part of you:

You have a big personality – you know what you want and you won’t stop till you get it. You have a quick temper, but when you feel safe and loved, you are the most sweet, charming and delightful little person. You are very passionate and very intelligent – I know that nothing will stop you from achieving any goal you set for yourself. The people who love you will need to be very patient because it takes you a long time to feel safe and secure, but once you do, your love is an incredible reward.

You are such a special little girl to me and I love you very much. You will always hold a special place in my heart. I hope that one day I will open the door and find you there. If you have any questions about the first 9 months of you life, I hope I can answer them for you. It’s been a privilege to be the first person to really know you, and to love you because of who you are. I wish you the absolute best in life – I’m so proud to have been a part of it.

Lots of love

Adios mi Querido

Dear R

If you are reading this – you must now be at least 18 years old. Your first 7 months doesn’t sound like much time compared with all those years you have now lived – but at one time, it was your entire life – and this was the life you had while you lived with me. I was your foster carer from birth until you were adopted.

When I went to pick you up from the hospital, you were just 4 days old. I knew nothing about you except your name and that you were a boy. It was the Thursday before Easter. When I arrived at the hospital, your birth mum was still with you, giving you a feed and helping you to settle down for a sleep before she said goodbye.

You were a beautiful baby. I used to call you my ‘golden child’. I had a strong feeling that you would have a charmed life – that things would work out for you in a really good way. I hope that has been true so far – and that you have had a happy childhood, that you feel loved and that your birth mum gave your mum and dad a most precious gift.

We had a wonderful time together. While you were with me, you went through a lot of your early milestones: learning to smile and then laugh, learning to sit, learning to eat (something you loved to do!) and cutting your first teeth. But I guess the most important thing you learned was about love. You thrived on love and gave it right back to me (x millions!!).

I’ve included a few photos of us from that time. You had an older foster brother who was 2 years older than you and a younger foster brother who was two months younger that you . It was pretty busy with three kids. You all looked so different, people used to give me funny looks and sometimes would say things like ‘oohh how did you do that???’ I’d smile and tell them ‘magic!’

Saying goodbye to you was hard. Although I was happy for you and your parents, I was sad to think I may never see you again. I hoped that the transition from the only world you knew wouldn’t be too hard for you. I knew you would be OK, but I really missed you – and still do. I have a photo of you on my wall and so I often think of you, wondering how you are going and imagining what an amazing man you are becoming.

My door is always open to you and I would love to hear from you – anytime. I’ll be happy to share whatever memories I have from that time in your life and to answer any questions you might have. To meet you again and to see who you have become would be very, very special to me.

Take care and never forget that there are people in the world who love you very much and that you will always have a place in my heart – forever.

Lots of love,