Imagine you took a phone call where you answered & asked a couple of questions and at the end of the conversation, you were going to be caring for a little baby. You had volunteered to step in when the family of this child could not.

Imagine that what was initially going to be a six month period turned into 3 years. The little baby turned into a little boy. While he was in your care, he learned to sit, crawl, walk, run & jump, to laugh, learn, share, explore, to give kisses, to trust, tell you his secrets, give & receive love.

Imagine that unexpectedly, you had to choose between helping your family or helping his.

Imagine being willing to continue to care for him and not to help your family.

Imagine that when his family do decide to care for him, that they slam their door. Shut you out. No kindness offered for the years of service you gave to their family. No interest in supporting his important relationships. His attachment to you is inconvenient to them.

Imagine the feeling of letting him go. Still loving him. Him loving you.


Although many children have passed through my home and I have truly loved them (and still do) this experience has been the most brutal. I’ve cried a million tears, lost many, many hours of sleep, overwhelmed by sadness and the pain of feeling that these circumstances will have a lasting impact on a vulnerable little boy who deserves so much better.

I have to trust that he will be OK. It’s out of my hands now. My part in his story is over.

Foster care is not for the feint-hearted.


9 thoughts on “Imagine

    • It’s hard! You have to deal with not seeing them but still loving them & worrying about them. The only thing I can say is that it helps you to understand how families feel when children are removed – i have a lot more compassion for them!

  1. Oh ,I so feel your pain. Child Safety do nothing for the Primary carer attachment and the abandoned feeling and the loss of belonging that young brains are moulded with. The known facts on Attachment disorder defies belief that this still happens in the 21st century in a western wealthy country that is well blessed with education and medical science. With the wealth of information that the Government collects(and pays costly for commissions), it still does nothing for the vulnerable mind. It will do nothing unless we CITIZENS speak up and partisan the government that is making our laws to change this horrible system, that is creating epidemic mental health problems.
    Oh! how I felt the child’s pain, of abandonment, was the greatest of my pain.
    Oh !how I cried out to God . He heard and felt OUR pain and returned the child, months later.

  2. It’s heartbreaking. I really feel for your loss can’t even begin to image your grief. I simply cannot comprehend how someone could do this.

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