The Hard Bit

This is the hard bit.
This is the bit that stops most people from becoming foster carers.
Saying goodbye.

I’ve been parenting this little guy for almost three years. He has taught me a lot. Mostly about tractors, motorbikes and garbage trucks, but also a lot about me.

For the last few weeks he has been transitioning out of my care and into the care of his extended family. Transition is now officially over, but he is still coming over one night a week for the next few weeks.

So many things are the same and so many things are different. The dynamic at home is enormously different. When he is here he needs lots of physical closeness and attention. At any moment, he could veer off into emotional chaos. Angry, upset, sad, confused. It’s tough when you are only three and everything you know is changing.

At the same time we are having very special moments. Moments of love, of sharing, remembering. Sweet and precious exchanges.

He has always called me mum but a couple of weeks ago he called me by my first name – Rose. It was an early morning, still sleepy exchange. I smiled at him and asked him if that’s what he’d like to call me now. Not yet, he said.

Water Boy

Water Boy


Good morning mothers!


Happy Mother’s Day. Just one of my three are with me today, so I’m having a lovely relaxing time with my wonderful friends at the beach.
These photos are for Archie, my favourite surfer!

Tough Day at the Office

I’m feeling weary after today’s efforts. It was challenging but OK till I got the call about a contact visit for one of my little guys. It was on my radar, but I never know until the last minute if his family will show. So I always wait until I get the call before I lock things in.

I got the call. This would be the first time for him to meet his brand new baby brother. They were in the car park when we arrived and as I walked with my two little ones towards the group, I could see mum holding the new baby. I waved at mum and smiled. Before I had even had a chance to say hello, I got a sharp verbal hit from a very angry grandmother who was clearly looking for a target and thought I would do.

The situation is too complicated to go into, but let’s just say there are three beautiful little brothers with three different carers and today was the first time they had met each other. Parents who can’t get themselves together enough to be parents, who keep on having babies when they can’t care for them. Anger, hurt, blame, ignorance, desperation, incarceration, addiction.

It’s all just terribly, exhaustingly sad and today…it got to me.

I'm trying Johnny!

I’m trying Johnny!