A Difficult Woman

Every now and then something happens that pivots your life and sends you off in a slightly different direction. At the time, you could never predict just how important it might be or how far away from your original trajectory you will be taken. Looking back though, you can see just how fundamentally things changed because of that turn of events. For me, it was the accidental making of a friend.

As young 20somethings, we were a couple of outsiders who quickly recognised a fellow traveller and formed a solid friendship. We sealed it by watching Jaws 3 & 4 on the big screen in one afternoon, a spot of fishing and a night of drinking our way through the various alcoholic beverages of our teenage years. Blue Lagoon anyone?

We spent most of our friendship living in far distant cities and towns. We never got to just drop over to each others place, to wear out our welcome. We did have a lot of holidays together though, so our story is full of beaches & road trips. And we worked together making music and films.

says it all

says it all

Whenever we could, we’d squeeze in a Yum Cha with a bottle of wine. Somehow this noisy, family  environment and combination of dumplings & alcohol would get us firing. We would cook up all kinds of plans and projects, make an enormous list then go off and accidentally spend way too much money on Christmas decorations or haircuts or frivolous frippery.

post yum cha

post yum cha

Our friendship has been an incredibly sustaining force in my life. It wasn’t always easy, but getting through the tough times and having that shared history over so many years builds something very strong between you. She was a ‘difficult woman’ and so was I but we only ever had one fight and that was about art/being an artist. In the end though, she always wanted more for me than I wanted for myself and for that…I am eternally thankful.

I had always looked forward to our ‘old age’ when we could really give the eccentricities free reign and nobody would care. But life is too short.

I’m lucky enough to have some other wonderful friendships with difficult women, but there is a space where you used to be. I don’t like it, but there you go.

Still such an influence on my life, this one’s for you on International Women’s Day 2013.




12 thoughts on “A Difficult Woman

  1. So beautifully written, laughed and cried my way through this Rose. Your dear Sarah, so wonderful she has given you so much, respected you, can see all of your amazing abilities. You must miss your friend terribly. It really sucks that great women and people in our lives have to die. So unfair. Thinking of you. It was beautiful to listen to Sarah dialogue last night, look at her images, and listen to your music. Very moving. What a beautiful gift to her son.

    Just yesterday I was talking about how amazing foster carers are. I had a mere acquaintance make an off the cuff remark about foster carers doing it for the $…. you will be very please to note she came away much more informed then when we met. Wish you had of been there to give her the low down.

    Keep writing Rose, I am looking forward to your book 🙂

  2. What a beautiful blog Rose. I miss her too but she’s everywhere here, as I know she is for you (it helps having three of her paintings in my room!) xxx

    • Thanks Stacie – she was a wonderful friend. Towards the end of her life I managed to spend a few days with her and I wanted to give her a little something, just to thank her for being such a good friend. She didn’t want or need anything, couldn’t read or do much of anything. In the end I made her a small photo album of our friendship. Going through the photos we laughed and laughed remembering so many adventures and bad ideas and lots of little forgotten things. It was a very special afternoon. Glad you enjoyed reading about her.

  3. Thank you for sharing this with us and, yes, I can tell already you’ll fit in just fine with our sometimes cantankerous, yet always-joyous-for-good-writing group over at yeah write. Your friend had a wonderful friend in you.

    • Looking forward to it Erica. I’m still exploring all the many facets of yeah write, but love the concept, so I’m in! Thanks for your comment. Sarah was a hell of a collaborator and an incredibly shy rebel. She’s been a big supporter of my writing/blogging even though I’ve got way too much to say about way too many topics! Writing this post about her has already stirred the pot.

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