Every now and then something happens that pivots your life and sends you off in a slightly different direction. At the time, you could never predict just how important it might be or how far away from your original trajectory you will be taken. Looking back though, you can see just how fundamentally things changed because of that turn of events. For me, it was the accidental making of a friend.
As young 20somethings, we were a couple of outsiders who quickly recognised a fellow traveller and formed a solid friendship. We sealed it by watching Jaws 3 & 4 on the big screen in one afternoon, a spot of fishing and a night of drinking our way through the various alcoholic beverages of our teenage years. Blue Lagoon anyone?
We spent most of our friendship living in far distant cities and towns. We never got to just drop over to each others place, to wear out our welcome. We did have a lot of holidays together though, so our story is full of beaches & road trips. And we worked together making music and films.
Whenever we could, we’d squeeze in a Yum Cha with a bottle of wine. Somehow this noisy, family environment and combination of dumplings & alcohol would get us firing. We would cook up all kinds of plans and projects, make an enormous list then go off and accidentally spend way too much money on Christmas decorations or haircuts or frivolous frippery.
Our friendship has been an incredibly sustaining force in my life. It wasn’t always easy, but getting through the tough times and having that shared history over so many years builds something very strong between you. She was a ‘difficult woman’ and so was I but we only ever had one fight and that was about art/being an artist. In the end though, she always wanted more for me than I wanted for myself and for that…I am eternally thankful.
I had always looked forward to our ‘old age’ when we could really give the eccentricities free reign and nobody would care. But life is too short.
I’m lucky enough to have some other wonderful friendships with difficult women, but there is a space where you used to be. I don’t like it, but there you go.
Still such an influence on my life, this one’s for you on International Women’s Day 2013.