Day 10: Autism Awareness Blogathon
A few years ago I realised that unless I taught my boy to say ‘I love you’, that he may never say it spontaneously. Of course I told him that I loved HIM many times, every day. But words don’t come easy to my little boy, so there was never a response to those three special words.
Rather than insist that he respond in kind every time I said it, I made it a part of our goodnight ritual. So after cuddles and kisses and settling into bed I would say ‘night night darling’ and ask him to say ‘night night mummy’ back to me. Then I would say ‘I love you’ and ask him to say ‘I love you’ in response.
It’s a done deal these days, I don’t have to ask any more. He knows how the script goes. He knows that those sounds and words are what we say every night. It’s the last thing we say to each other.
And isn’t that autism in a nutshell? It’s an important social and emotional exchange. One we all need and deserve to participate in. The feelings are there, no question, but for a child with autism, it needs to be unravelled to its core components and taught step by step. They get there eventually, but it doesn’t come naturally.
Would it kill me to never hear those words? No, because I know he loves me and he knows I love him. Will it help him to be able to say those words and express those feelings? Yes. Will it help me and the other people he loves to hear them? Yes with cherries on top.