To Be Continued…

When a friend dies you know that no matter how keenly you feel their loss, that their partners and children are feeling that very particular pain more intensely.

I promised my friend to keep her in their lives in the years ahead. I don’t think that this will require any work whatsoever because my dear friend was such an amazing presence in their lives and will alway be. But keeping her in my life? I’m not quite sure what that will involve, though I am starting to get an idea.

I have her art in every room of my house, her photos in my collection, we shared a very individual taste in music and we also share some very precious people but I will miss our idle chit chat about every non-important thing and endless idea swapping along with so many other things.

I might take up the age old craft of letter writing, so that I can keep telling her what I think. I might increase my creative output and I might take an annual holiday in her honour. So many ways to acknowledge her and share with her. It’s a new phase in our friendship. I’m trying to look forward to it.

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2 thoughts on “To Be Continued…

  1. I am reflecting on your entry tonight, thinking about my friend, who would have celebrated her birthday tomorrow. How do we continue a relationship with someone after they die. Tonight we were explaining to our 5 year old that you can continue to have a relationship with someone after they die (Continuing Bond Theory). No longer do we have to sever the ties, no longer do we have to let go and move on, but instead as Michael White would say “say hello again”. How do we continue, remember, support those whose pain would be more intense and painful then ours. I think of my friend and wonder what advice she would have for me, and those very special people in her life. I find myself dialoguing with her when I clean a particular area of our house. An area we had talked about. I look at her photograph and wonder how did all this happen, someone so young, so beautiful, a positive person, a person who taught me much about gratitude and giving thanks in every situation. So tomorrow many of us will be in separate locations, sending loving thoughts, remembering all the times we shared together, and thinking of those very close to her heart.

    • It’s not easy to work through all of the feelings. It’s all still very raw for me as it must be for you. Right now it feels as though I could still go and visit, I certainly do a lot of internal dialogue with my friend and her voice is often in my ear. I don’t want to say goodbye to such a wonderful friend but I do wish I could say hello.

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